I was on a date a few years ago, with a man whom I was so interested in:  A talented artist, a gentlemen, an extremely handsome and decidedly kind man.  I remember driving north on 99 in his Volvo wagon late one night, from West Seattle through Downtown, and telling him what I wanted in life:  To have a family, to have the luxury to be a part-time stay at home mom with a part-time job, and during all of that to be inspired to write and to have the time to actually do what I am passionate about.  I remember my sister Lanie telling me about dating men, and that I had to be able to share with them what I wanted.  And this pivitol moment in my life where I was able to say exactly what I wanted out loud and not be afraid of the consequences.

I spent this evening picking up Jasper and Eli from school, shopping for toys and grocery’s and art materials, coming home and watching I Love Lucy on the TiVo, making dinner, and waiting excitedly for Jason to come home from work.  Then we took showers (the boys) and baths, (the adults, who clearly know the luxury here), and watched Benji, entertainment not just for the kids, but for the adults, and our very own Chesterfield*.  Jason read stories to the boys while I made sure their beds were made over the top of them as they lay in them, and when Jason was done I fluffed his covers and turned out the lights.  A perfect Friday evening.

I may not have made it work with the man who drove the Volvo, but I put out what I wanted and it came to me ten-fold.  I am forever a changed human being, with a life I was dreaming of for years but too afraid to tell anyone about.  But once I admitted and accepted to myself what I wanted, the reality followed.  And I have never been happier.

Soccer Saturday tomorrow. And more to follow.

*A new breed of dog, the Chesterfield was derived from the Yorkshire Terrier and proved to be so magnificent, devoted, agile and loving he was able to  develop a breed named specifically after his own name.